


Crush

by 2originalcents



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 22:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3226592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2originalcents/pseuds/2originalcents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Butters has a crush on Kenny, not on Cartman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crush

Ever since elementary school Butters had a crush on Kenny, but how could he not? Kenny was cute, thoughtful, dignified. As Princess Kenny he was beautiful, and seeing him in that cheap plastic blond wig and homemade dress, Butters knew he was a goner.

The strength of his crush fluctuated, but it was persistent, staying with him well into high school. That day Butters was at his locker, it was after school and he was getting ready to head home when he saw Kenny. He was alone for once, and Butters felt the butterflies hit his stomach. He could go up to him right now, maybe not tell him how he felt, but at the very least ask him if he wanted to grab a bite to eat. That would be nice, to go to City Wok just the two of them.

As Butters thought about the pros and cons of asking Kenny out to an innocent after school meal, he was interrupted by a body slamming against the locker next to his.

“Hey, Butters, you ready to go?” Cartman asked, his back on the lockers as he looked around.

“What?” Butters asked, confused. He didn’t know he had made plans with Cartman.

“I was thinking we could grab something to eat. Unless you have to be home right away?” Cartman turned to him.

“Oh, uh.” Butters thought about it, he wanted to eat alone with Kenny, but maybe Cartman joining them wouldn’t be too bad.

Kenny walked towards them, and Cartman nodded at him.

“Hey Kenny,” he said.

“What are you two up to?”

“We’re gonna go grab a bite to eat, wanna come?” Butters asked, his voice in a rush as he hoped that answer would be yes.

“Can’t, I have to go pick up my sister from school.”

Butters felt the disappointment hit him like a ton of bricks. He wanted to complain, but he couldn’t argue against such an altruistic errand.

“Alright, see ya later than,” Cartman said, as Kenny stepped away from them.

“Later, enjoy your meal.” Kenny stepped back and waved before heading out.

“So you ready?” Cartman asked, turned back to Butters.

Butters closed his locker and smiled at him. “Yep!”

…

“Alright class, I want you all to work in groups of two for this lab, so quickly pick a partner and we’ll get started,” the science teacher said at her desk, neatly piling the worksheets together to hand out to the groups.

Butters turned to Kenny, he was on the other side of the classroom, but if he got up quick he could go over and ask him to be his partner. His hand was on the strap of his backpack, already slightly up, when Cartman came and sat down in the seat in front of him.

“Partners?”

Butters saw him, then turned to Kenny, who was now happily chatting with Bebe.

“Sure,” Butters said, sitting back down.

The teacher passed out the worksheets and explained to them what they were suppose to gain from the cell specimens in the microscope. Butters was prepared to do all the work, which was the reason Cartman always wanted to partner up with him. But this time Cartman actually did his fair share, the two switching between who used the microscope, and they both consulted their textbooks when they weren’t sure of an answer. With Cartman’s help they finished before any other group, and the teacher gave them a chance to go to lunch, having no more work for them that day.

“Anything more beautiful than an empty cafeteria?” Cartman wondered out loud as they both entered the kitchen, grabbing a tray and whizzing by, getting first picks of all the specials.

It was another five minutes before the official bell for lunch rang and the cafeteria would be flooded by students. In the meantime Cartman and Butters enjoyed the empty space, talking about the rewards of doing actual work for once. Butters found himself giggling at a lot of Cartman’s comments, enjoying himself, and getting a bit annoyed at the intrusion of others once the bell rang.

…

Butters knew his eyes were puffy from crying on his way to school. He thought he had managed to escape his father’s wrath last night, but he was waiting for him this morning at breakfast, the calculus test he got a C on in hand. He felt a new round of sobs coming, but he swallowed them down, he wasn’t going to cry in school. But a thought occurred to him, that it would be so nice if Kenny came and comforted him. He imagined all the kind things Kenny would say to him as he walked into the building and saw him surrounded by the guys, fooling around and laughing.

He didn’t want to interrupt their fun, so he walked quickly past them his head down, but Cartman saw him from his periphery.

“Morning, Butters,” he called out, grinning. The other three turned to him and muttered their hellos.

Butters turned to them and tried his best to smile. “Morning fellas!”

He kept walking and Kenny, Stan, and Kyle went back to their conversation, but Cartman’s eyes didn’t leave Butters. He turned from his friends and followed him to his locker.

“Hey, is everything alright?” Cartman asked, his voice gentle.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Butters said, chuckling, acting like that should be obvious, but Cartman wasn’t convinced.

Cartman looked around before leaning close to Butters.

“That was a really hard test. Even Kyle got a C in it,” he whispered, hitting the nail on the head. “That teacher likes fucking with her students, that’s why I opted out of that class to begin with, remember?”

Butters felt his eyes watering again. He smiled at Cartman and nodded, he did remember.

“Don’t listen to your parents, it was hard, you know it was hard. They don’t. Fuck ‘em.”

Butters laughed and nodded, wiping his eyes.

“Thanks, Eric.”

The bell rang for school to start. Butters quickly grabbed his books. Their first class were in opposite sides of the school, Cartman should get going, but he hesitated, watching Butters.

“I’ll see you later,” Cartman said, tousling Butters’ hair with his hand.

Butters giggled and playfully swatted his hand away.

“Okay!”

…

Butters found Kenny after school in the back of the building. He was sitting in a stoop, his legs drawn up, his head buried in his knees. Butters looked around, but there was no one. He walked towards Kenny and lightly placed his hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump. Butters could see tears in his eyes.

“What, Butters?” Kenny said harshly, it made Butters wince.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Butters made his way to sit next to him, but Kenny vigorously shook his head.

“Butters, just go away. I seriously just want to be left alone right now, okay?”

“Okay,” Butters said, nodding and stepping back.

“I appreciate it, but just not right now, I’ll see you later.”

Butters nodded again and turned around to head home.

…

Butters’ parents went out that night. They said they were going to run some errands, but Butters knew they were going on a date night, something they started doing more regularly in an attempt to fix their marriage. Mostly, this meant Butters had the house to himself until bedtime, and he enjoyed the solitude, lounging in the peace as he watched the documentary on bees he’d been meaning to watch for months now.

He was cuddled on the couch under a thick blanket, becoming emotional at the thought of a world without bees, when there was a knock on his door. He paused the documentary and went to get it, wondering who it could possibly be.

“Hey,” Cartman said at the door.

“Hey, Eric,” Butters said, smiling, not expecting him. He stepped back and let him in, not even bothering to ask what he was doing there.

“What are you watching?” he asked, sitting on the couch.

“Oh, uh, it’s this documentary on bees,” Butters said, blushing, growing self-conscious of his choice.

Cartman didn’t respond, he just stared at the television, his head leaning against his hand. Butters sat down and started the documentary again. They sat in silence when Cartman crawled over to him, putting his head on Butters’ lap.

Butters squeaked, his hands by his chest, not sure what to do. Slowly he lowered his hand and gently started running his fingers through Cartman’s hair. Cartman sighed and buried his head deeper into his lap, his right hand on Butters’ thigh, and Butters couldn’t help but blush, his heart fluttering. They watched the documentary, Butters absentmindedly petting Cartman while his other hand rested on his side.

When it was over, Cartman sat back up and rubbed his eyes.

“I should go,” he said, standing up.

“You can sleep over, if you want,” Butters said, surprised with himself when those words came out. He stood, embarrassed, but he continued, “It’s cold, and you’re already warm in here.”

Cartman was quiet, but he nodded.

“Okay,” Butters said, smiling, the two heading up to his room.

All of Butters’ clothes were too small on Cartman, so he couldn’t offer him a pair of pajamas to sleep in. Instead Cartman stripped down to his boxers and undershirt, already in Butters’ bed when he came in from brushing his teeth.

Cartman had his back to him, blanket up to his chin. His body slowly moved up and down in rhythm to his breathing. Butters watched him, again not sure what to do. Should he just sleep in the guest room or on the floor? But as he stepped closer he saw that Cartman was near the edge of the bed, having left more than enough room for Butters to climb in, which he did. Butters flushed, he pressed his cold hands to his hot cheeks, trying to calm himself down. He turned away from Cartman, trying to make himself comfortable to go to sleep. As he started dozing off, he felt an arm wrap around his torso, and effortlessly Cartman pulled him close, his breath hitting the nape of Butters’ neck. They laid in silence, Butters willing his heart to stop slamming in his chest, certain that Cartman could hear it.

“Thanks,” Cartman whispered, half asleep.

Butters turned slightly, his eyes on him. “For what?”

“I feel better. I was having a shitty day, but not anymore.”

Cartman moved and pressed his face to Butters’ shoulder, his hold on him tightening.

“No problem, Eric.”

Butters smiled, and he hummed slightly until hearing Cartman’s soft snores behind him. He helped Cartman feel better. He didn’t really do much of anything, but he helped his friend, the feeling of satisfaction nestling in his chest.

…

Butters whimpered in bed, cursing himself. He had finally managed to plan a hang out with only him and Kenny and he got himself grounded! Kenny told him it was no big deal, that they’ll hang out some other time, but it was a big deal. All Butters wanted was some quality time with him, and now he would have to wait who knows how long to get it.

Wallowing in self pity, Butters didn’t hear the door of his room slightly open, Cartman sliding in.

“Butters,” Cartman whispered, his voice excited.

Butters jumped and turned to him.

“Eric?”

“I’m busting you out of here!”

“I can’t, my parents are checking in on me every half hour, they’ll know I left.”

Butters’ parents had gotten wise to Cartman sneaking in and helping their son escape his punishment. Now they rotated checking in on him, making sure he was still in his room, sullen and depressed as he should be.

Cartman sighed and rolled his eyes. “Goddamn your parents suck, Butters.”

“Sorry. Thanks though, you should probably head out now since being stuck here all night with me won’t be so much fun.”

Cartman shrugged. He walked around Butters’ bed, and Butters assumed he was going to leave through his window, but he actually sat down in the space between his bed and wall, out of sight of whoever might open the door.

“I have this really funny video to show you, actually!” Cartman said once he was settled. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket along with some earbuds and started looking up the video. He offered an earbud to Butters, the other in his own ear, and they quietly watched and giggled at a compilation of the best vines of the year.

Butters timed the evening perfectly, he and Cartman would whisper and watch videos, but when the half hour was upon them, he would sit back in his bed, a book in hand. His mom was so pleased that he was handling his punishment well, she brought him a full plate of dinner, thinking he deserved to eat that night.

The plate was on Butters’ lap, and he offered Cartman a bite for the hundredth time.

“I ate before coming here,” Cartman insisted, knowing this was the only meal Butters would eat all day.

Butters raised his eyebrows, his head tilting towards Cartman, not believing him. He had his fork with a hefty bite out for Cartman, who shook his head and said, “Fine!”

He leaned over and let Butters feed him. He accepted a few more bites, but he made sure Butters ate the majority of it.

Once the last check in past, with his parents telling him goodnight and it was time to sleep, Cartman got up and stretched, ready to call it a night himself.

“Thanks for keeping me company,” Butters said, getting up himself.

“Mhmm.”

They faced each other, almost waiting to see if the other had something to say. Cartman let out an anguished sigh before cupping Butters’ face with his hands and drawing him in for a kiss.

Butters heart hammered in his chest so hard it physically hurt. He moaned under Cartman’s touch and Cartman used the opportunity to slide his tongue into his mouth. Butters closed his eyes, pulled Cartman closer by grabbing his jacket. They made out for several minutes, tilting their heads this way and that, Cartman steadying Butters’ movements with his hands firm on his neck. They parted for a moment, their foreheads knocking together. Cartman leaned in to kiss him a few more times, but these kisses were chaste, less urgent.

“Goodnight,” he said, winded, as he stepped away from Butters.

Butters couldn’t speak, still reeling from the kisses and how good they felt. He swallowed and nodded, watching Cartman as he snuck out the door. He stepped back and sat on his bed, fingertips pressed to his lips, his stomach in a tizzy.

…

A switch had gone off inside Butters, and seeing Kenny no longer had the same effect it once had. Sure, he still thought Kenny was exceptionally handsome, and he couldn’t argue that he was one of the most compassionate guys he knew, but Butters started noticing some other things as well. Kenny had a terrible hero-complex, he never wanted help, he only wanted to help. That was sweet, but rather annoying, no one person could forgo help for so long. He also realized if he stepped too close to Kenny, it was obvious he needed a good shower, and wondered if deodorant was too forward a gift to give him.

Butters no longer sought him out, wondered what he was doing, or fantasized spending time alone with him. Now Kenny was just his friend, someone he cared deeply about, but the crush he’d been harboring for him for nine years was finally gone.

Now Butters sought out Cartman, and he never wondered what he was doing since he was usually next to him at any given moment, and he never fantasized about spending time alone with him since spending time alone together was their default.

They were in Cartman’s bed, both naked, cuddling after making love. Cartman showered Butters’ face with kisses, and whispered sweet nothings into his ear. He whispered that one day he would be rich enough to buy Butters a mansion, with a stunning greenhouse next to it, where he could keep a lavish garden with all his pet insects inside. He told him of the delicious meals they would eat, of the places they would travel to. Cartman promised so many things to Butters, and Butters believed every word of it. But laying there in bed, their bodies close, their lips brushing against each other, Butters knew he didn’t need any of that. So long as he was with Cartman, wrapped within his arms, they could live in the sewer and he would be happy.

They stared at each other, Cartman’s hand over Butters’ face, his thumb rubbing his cheek. Butters was smiling, over the moon, and it occurred to him he had never once entertained a crush on Cartman. He had sustained his crush on Kenny for years. He had crushed on many different girls over the years as well, wishing he could spend time with the objects of his desire, but never gaining the courage to do so. But Cartman was always there, always by his side, dragging him along to help with a scheme or just sitting quietly watching tv. He was there, and Butters never thought twice about it. They were best friends after all, it was implied that spending time together is what best friends did. He had taken Cartman’s presence for granted, but now the thought of not having him broke his heart.

And Butters thought about the word ‘crush.’ How terrible it was, crush, people could get crushed to death. Being crushed must be an awful feeling. To be trapped under the weight of some immovable object, feeling your organs and bones give way and flatten. Why are crushes called crushes, then? Was it because that’s what they are? You’re being crushed alive under these useless, immovable feelings you have towards someone, until you feel your heart give way and break from the unrequited feelings.

Butters never had a crush on Cartman because Cartman never gave him the chance to. Cartman was always right there beside him, making sure his heart wasn’t being crushed, giving him everything he needed before he asked for it. Butters never had a crush on him because deep down he was always in love with him, he just didn’t know it yet. He always had him, and Cartman waited so long to show Butters that, but it was worth the wait.

Butters leaned forward, he pressed his lips against Cartman’s bottom lip and smiled as he pulled away.

“I’m in love with you,” he said, covering Cartman’s hand with his own.

“I’m in love with you, too,” Cartman said, pulling him in closer.

Everything was so easy with Cartman. Crushes were hard and painful, but in Cartman’s arms Butters felt light and carefree. He felt safe here, and loved.

He cuddled closer to him, and nuzzled his neck. Cartman kissed him and ran his hands through his hair. Both were tired and they drifted off to sleep holding each other, not crushed but in love.

 

 


End file.
